The Cumshots

The CumshotsAre you a cum lover like me? Sure you are. That?s why you?re reading this now. I?ve taken a thousand loads. But how many have I watched on video? A hell of a lot more, and they?re pretty easy to categorise. Here they are, in no particular order. Some are great, some aren?t. But hey, cum is cum. So keep on posting! Which category do YOU fall into?The Hood FillerThis is the simultaneously messy and contained cumshot that can only be achieved by an uncut guy. His cum usually doesn?t go very far away from his dick and he strokes with his foreskin (as opposed to pulling it back.) The cum fills his foreskin like a reservoir and the jizz coats the tip of his cock. The Slo-MoNot a fan of this, even though you?d think I, as a cum lover, would be. But something about the slo-mo cumshot ruins the reality for me. Now, if guys could actually CUM in slow motion, that would be a different thing.The Black and WhiteStop it. No one wants to see your cock in black and white.The Gravity DefierThis is the angle where you see a nice hard ready-to-explode cock pointing either up or to the left or right and when you see that very first bulb of juice, expect it to go in a certain direction, only to have the cum drip UP the shaft onto the belly because the guy is laying down. A real mood killer. Learn angles.The Too-Many CockringsOne on his balls and shaft. One on his shaft, One strangling his head. But the cum looks the same to me. If it feels good, do it. I?m just saying it looks stupid.The Hands FreeIt usually isn?t. The hand either leaves the cock a millisecond before the eruption or they are not disciplined enough to not touch their cock before the gasm is finished. Either way, it isn?t a true hands free.The REAL Hands FreeMuch less common (because it?s harder to achieve). This is the cumshot that earns it. If you don?t see the guy touch his cock for at least a minute before cumming, and he doesn?t touch it during the shoot, then, congratulations. Takes a lot of discipline.The Bullshit Hands FreeThis is the video where a guy tags it as hands free simply because he isn?t using his hands. No one who wants to watch a handsfree cumshot is hoping for a fleshlight or some series of vibrating eggs strapped to your jock.The Too-Close Close-UpYou might have a nice cock but we?d never know it. The tip is way too close to the camera and fills the entire frame. Back up a bit. Perspective is good sometimes.The Mega ShooterWe all want to know the secret. This guy not only goes for frequency but distance and power too. He?s the Barry Bonds of cumshots (and we probably all think he?s cheating somehow)The Ropey LoadIt can look yummy but we really know you just need to drink more water.The MoanerYeah. Shooting a load feels good. Take it down a notch.The SemiOk, this is rare too, but one of my favourites if the cock has some heft to it. There?s nothing like a thick piece of meat that you can see bend and flex a bit like a rubber hose before it shoots out a load. Awesome.The Table CummerI actually like this one (sort of). Mostly because the load stays visible on the table. The down-side is that the dick is blocked from showing its entire glory.The Unbreakable LoadWe?ve all seen it. The first load shoots out in glorious fashion and even through subsequent jettisoned jizz, that first one still dangles there, attaching to a finger, a knuckle, a knee or whatever else is nearby. It?s the first one to arrive and the last one to leave.The ?In the Eye?Who doesn?t love a nice shot right into the lens to see all that yummy goodness cover our screen? But?they?re rare for a reason.The Prostate MilkerThese are fun to watch. The milk just dribbles out. Congrats to those of you who can achieve it!The Off ScreenerYou might have a great looking cock (or not) but we?re checking out your video because we wanna see the cum! If it shoots mostly out of frame, that?s a let-down. It?s related to the next one.The Bad LighterYou?re not a cinematographer, but if you?re in total darkness, the shot (and the shot) won?t look very good.The Too Far Away GuyIf you?re in the bedroom, don?t put the camera in the kitchen please.The Pixeled GuyUpgrade your camera please. It?s 2020.The Bad FramerDo a couple practice runs before posting a bad angle! Make that cock and cum look good! You can probably put the camera almost anywhere, so give it a little attention. (The Bad Framer is usually related to the Bad Lighting Guy, The Pixeled Guy, The Off Screener and The Too Far Away Guy)The Hand CatcherNot sure why guys do this (other than making it maybe easier to clean up) but I?m speaking for myself ? and probably most of us? don?t post these.The Weird Hand GrabThese can be awesome, but they do stand out. This guy grabs his cock either reverse, or with the thumb tucked under, or if he?s particularly delicate, the pinky out. No matter what, so long as the cum is nice, it don?t matter!The Pearl DropperThis is the cumshot where the first bit of cum is a small ball of thick, round cum and it just stays there for a noticeably long time before the rest of the cum bursts through.The DelayOh man. Here it comes! A huge burst! And?that?s it? Where?s the rest of it? I mean, I know some guys don?t cum buckets but I?ve never seen just one single squirt to an orgas?oh there?s the rest of it. Bravo.